Of the Angels' Grace
by RavenTempestShadowhunter
Summary: A collection of song fictions. Using songs from lots of different bands, such as Evanescence, Nightwish, and Within Temptation. I will take suggestions for songs. Rated for depressing themes. Some are AU. Thalico, maybe Percabeth in later chapters.
1. My Heart Is Broken

**I don't own Percy Jackson or My Heart Is Broken.**_  
_

**My Heart Is Broken by Evanescence  
**

_I will wander 'till the end of time  
__Torn away from you_

I close my eyes, lying on the bed face up. I've been drifting lately, drifting through the day, going through the motions of life. Of course it doesn't matter. Only Annabeth will have noticed. No one else cares about me.

Annabeth tells me that's not true. She tells me that everyone cares. But I know it's not true. The only other person who ever cared is gone. And I'm going to drift for the rest of my life without him. There's no point anymore.

_I pulled away to face the pain  
__I close my eyes and drift away  
__Over the fear that I will never find a way  
__To heal my soul  
__And I will wander 'till the end of time  
__Torn away from you_

She opens the door. "Thalia, what are you doing?" she asks. I don't answer her, just open my eyes and stare at the ceiling. The white ceiling. "Thalia," she says, stepping forward and taking the razor out of my hand.

I turn to look at her. "Give it back." My voice is a whisper. I've been crying.

"No way in hell."

I sit up. "We're already there."

She shakes her head. "Thalia, I'm not going to let you hurt yourself. Do you think Nico would have wanted this?"

I squeeze my eyes closed. I wasn't going to hurt myself. "I'm not going to hurt myself."

"Really? Then what do you plan to do with this?" She holds up the razor.

_My heart is broken  
__Sweet sleep, my dark angel  
__Deliver us  
__From sorrow's hold  
__Over my heart_

Sleep. Sweet sleep. I was just going to sleep. Because I can't keep going like this. But I know I can't go back to the way things were. I know I can't get him back. I can't keep drifting, half alive.

_I can't go on living this way  
__But I can't go back the way I came  
__Chained to this fear  
__That I will never find a way  
__To heal my soul  
__And I will wander 'till the end of time  
__Half alive without you_

I open my eyes and stand, tears falling like ice cold rain. "I was just going to sleep."

A look of confusion crosses her face, then realization dawns. She steps foreward. "Thalia, you can't."

"Why." It's a question, but I don't want her to answer. I don't want her to tell me that people need me, or that Nico wouldn't have wanted this.

She just looks at me, somehow knowing this. She drops the razor and pulls me into a hug. "Thalia..." She sounds like she's going to cry. I don't want her to cry. "We all miss Nico. But if he were standing here, do you think he would want you to kill yourself for him?"

If Nico was standing here, we wouldn't be in this mess. But I pretend to understand, and I go along with her. She asks me to see a counselor. I agree. She makes me stay with her for the week._  
_

_My heart is broken  
__Sweet sleep, my dark angel  
__Deliver us  
__Change  
__Open your eyes to the light  
__I denied it all so long  
__Oh so long  
__Say goodbye, goodbye_

But even the counseling doesn't help. I still can't hold on. My heart is still broken.

_When Annabeth walked into the bathroom, the first thing she saw was the blood. The small rivers of blood on the floor. Then she saw her friend, lying on her back on the bathroom floor. The rivers came from Thalia's wrists. Annabeth felt the tears trickling down her face, mixing with Thalia's._

_ There was a piece of paper on the bathroom floor, next to Thalia's hand._

My heart is broken  
Release me  
I can't hold on  
Deliver us  
My heart is broken  
Sweet sleep, my dark angel  
Deliver us from sorrow's hold

**I'm planning to make this a collection of song fictions. I'm not trying to sound like people who say "I won't upload unless I get this many reviews". But I'm not going to continue if people don't like this one.**


	2. Angels Fall First

__**I don't own Percy Jackson or Angels Fall First by Nightwish.**

_An angel face smiles to me  
__Under a headline of tragedy  
__That smile used to give me warmth  
__Farewell, no words to say  
__Beside the cross on your grave  
__And those forever burning candles_

I look down at the picture in my hand. She smiles up at me, her eyes lit with happiness. The smile used to warm me. Now it's just empty. It's just a photograph.

I try to speak. I try to say goodbye. But I can't. There's nothing to say. I'm looking at the lightning bolt on the stone in front of me, and the magical candles that will never go out. Each grave has one.

Each grave.

_Needed elsewhere  
__To remind us of the shortness of our time  
__Tears laid for them  
__Tears of love, tears of fear  
__Bury my dreams, dig up my sorrows  
__Oh, Lord, why the angels fall first_

I try to convince myself that she was needed. They needed her for some reason. And I know the reason. She died to remind us all how short our lives will be. How short the lives of all half bloods are. But that doesn't stop the tears from falling._  
_

_Not relieved by thoughts of Shangri-La  
__Nor enlightened by the lessons of Christ  
__I'll never understand the meaning of the right  
__Ignorance lead me into the light_

Even though I know where she is, even though I know that she's in Elysium, it doesn't help. Neither do Chiron or Percy or Annabeth or anyone. No one can help this feeling of emptiness._  
_ I fall to my knees in front of the grave, just like I always do. I put the rose into the ever-burning candle and watch it go up in smoke.

_Needed elsewhere  
__To remind us of the shortness of our time  
__Tears laid for them  
__Tears of love, tears of fear  
__Bury my dreams, dig up my sorrows  
__Oh, Lord, why the angels fall first_

Chiron tells us that the Greeks didn't have angels. Maybe that's true. But I'm not completely Greek. I can have angels. And Thalia was mine. But angels always fall first._  
_

_Sing me a song  
__Of your beauty,  
__Of your kingdom  
__Let the melodies of your harps  
__Caress those who are still here  
__Yesterday we shook hands  
__My friend  
__Today a moonbeam brightens my path  
__My guardian_

It feels like it was yesterday I hugged her before we went into battle. Just yesterday that I fought a hellhound beside her. Just yesterday that I heard her scream in pain as the hellhound slashed open her stomach. Just yesterday that I stabbed the hellhound and killed it. And just yesterday that I held Thalia as she died.

But that was yesterday. And as the rain begins to fall, it wets the ground and wipes away my tears. And as I look around, the candles still burn through the rain. And somehow, Thalia's candle burns brightest of all.

And I know that the candles will always burn. Through the darkest of times, the candles will always burn.

**This song was sung by Tarja Turunen, who was the first singer of Nightwish. If anyone can sing this song the way she does, please tell me, because I don't think it's possible. She has such an amazing voice.**


	3. When You're Gone

**I don't own Percy Jackson or When You're Gone by Avril Lavigne.**_  
_

_I always needed time on my own  
__I never thought I'd need you there when I cry  
__And the days fell like years when I'm alone  
__And the bed where you lie is made up on your side_

He'd never needed anyone. He'd never needed the father that had abandoned him, he'd never needed the mother that had died when he was young. At one time he'd needed his sister, but that didn't matter now, because she was gone. Just like everyone else in his life. And he'd never cried. Not for her, not for his father, not for his mother. Crying didn't help. People left, it was part of life.

So why did he feel like there was a hole in his heart when he looked at her side of the bed?

_When you walk away  
__I count the steps that you take  
__Do you see how much I need you right now_

Why did he count every step she took when she left him? Why did he think about her every second of the day? Why did he care so much?

_When you're gone  
__The pieces of my heart are missing you  
__When you're gone  
__The face I came to know is missing too  
__When you're gone  
__The words I need to hear  
__To always get me through the day  
__And make it ok  
__I miss you_

He would lie in bed at night thinking about her. Her face would swim in front of his eyes, her electric blue eyes lit up in a smile. He would hear her voice when he closed his eyes, telling him the things he needed to hear to get through the day. And maybe he was ready to admit that he missed her.

_I've never felt this way before  
__Everything that I do reminds me of you  
__And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor  
__And they smell just like you  
__I love the things that you do_

When it rained, he would go into the closet and pull out the t-shirt she'd left behind. Thunderstorms were their special time, when they would go out and sit on the balcony of his fourth floor apartment and watch the lightning. Now he brought the t-shirt and watched the lightning with it. It smelled just like her.

_When you walk away  
__I count the steps that you take  
__Do you see how much I need you right now_

And as the lightning flashed through the darkness and the thunder shook the sky, he would remember the day she left. The way she gave him a kiss on the cheek before whispering that she was sorry in his ear. And sometimes he would scream at the sky, asking if she knew how much he needed her. But the thunder drowned out his voice.

_When you're gone  
__The pieces of my heart are missing you  
__When you're gone  
__The face I came to know is missing too  
__When you're gone  
__The words I need to hear  
__To always get me through the day  
__And make it ok  
__I miss you_

And across the city she was sitting in her best friend's apartment, watching the rain pour down the window, mirroring the tears that streamed down her cheeks. She would see his face, hear his voice, and wonder why she ever left.

_We were made for each other  
__Out here forever  
__I know we were, yeah  
__All I ever wanted was for you to know  
__Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul  
__I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah_

And finally she ran from the apartment, barefoot, to the tree they used to sit under in the park. By the time she got there, she was soaked to the bone and her hair was sticking to her neck. But she sat under the tree and sobbed.

_When you're gone  
__The pieces of my heart are missing you  
__When you're gone  
__The face I came to know is missing too  
__When you're gone  
__The words I need to hear  
__To always get me through the day  
__And make it ok  
__I miss you_

And when he came to the same tree on the same stormy night and found her crying there, he didn't say anything. He just sat down next to her and put his arms around her until she stopped. And when she stopped, she wrapped her arms around his neck and asked if she could come back. And when he nodded and told how much he'd missed her, she almost started crying again.

Because they both knew how much they needed each other.

**This was a request from Daughter of Wisdom and Music. I feel like this is much happier than I usually write, and I probably could have made it sadder, but I guess I was in a good mood. If there is a song you'd like me to do, I'd be happy to.**


	4. Our Solemn Hour

**I do not own Percy Jackson or Our Solemn Hour by Within Temptation.**_  
_

_Sanctus Espiritus, redeem us from our solemn hour  
__Sanctus Espiritus, insanity is all around us_

I want to scream at the gods. Can't they see us here, suffering? All around us it's insanity. Why don't they save us?

_In my darkest hours I could not forsee  
__That the tide could turn so fast to this degree  
__Can't believe my eyes how can you be so blind  
__Is the heart of stone no empathy inside_

Even when I was so depressed I wanted to die, I couldn't see this coming. I never thought that the tide could turn so fast. I never thought that Luke could change so much. Sometimes I don't think it's real. But I know it is. Zeus, can't you see this? Can't you see what they're doing to your daughter? And Poseidon, your son? Athena, your daughter? Hermes, can't you see what the monster you made is doing to us? How can you be so blind? Do you have any empathy? Or are your hearts made of stone? _  
_

_Time keeps on slipping away and we haven't learned  
__So in the end what have we gained?  
__Sanctus Espiritus, redeem us from our solemn hour  
__Sanctus Espiritus, insanity is all around us  
__Sanctus Espiritus, is this what we deserve can we break free  
__From chains of never ending agony_

I feel the freezing tears slip silently down my cheeks. Why can't they see us? Please, please save us, save us all. All the captives. Thalia. I can still see her when Luke ran a knife down her leg, cutting deep into the flesh. I can still hear her screams. What did we do? Do we really deserve this? Can we break away from this madness?_  
_

_Are they themselves to blame, the misery, the pain  
__Didn't we let go, allowed it, let it grow  
__If we can't restrain the beast which dwells inside  
__It will find it's way, somehow, somewhere in time_

Thalia doesn't blame them, though. She says that the gods gave up on Luke, forced him to become this way. Maybe that's true, but still, we don't deserve this. She doesn't deserve this, this torture, by someone who was like her brother.

_Will we remember all of the suffering  
__'Cause if we fail it will be in vain  
__Sanctus Espiritus, redeem us from our solemn hour  
__Sanctus Espiritus, insanity is all around us  
__Sanctus Espiritus, is this what we deserve can we break free  
__From chains of never ending agony_

I am chained to a wall, watching Thalia on the floor. Luke is kneeling over her. He's torturing her, burning her, breaking her fingers, and there's a long, deep gash in her stomach. I want to help her, I need to make sure she's alright. But I can't. I'm forced to watch as Luke, her once best friend, tortures her, and laughs when she screams.

_Sanctus Espiritus, redeem us from our solemn hour  
__Sanctus Espiritus, insanity is all around us  
__Sanctus Espiritus, is this what we deserve can we break free  
__From chains of never ending agony  
__Sanctus Espiritus, redeem us from our solemn hour  
__Sanctus Espiritus, insanity is all around us  
__Sanctus Espiritus, is this what we deserve can we break free  
__From chains of never ending agony_

Why don't they hear us? Why don't they hear our screams, why won't the gods save us from these chains of agony? Do we deserve this? No, I should have known. The gods don't care about us. Luke is right. But after what he's done to Thalia, to Annabeth, to Percy, to me, I won't ever tell him that. I will break free from these chains, and then I'll make the gods pay for what they made us endure.

**For anyone who has seen the movie Thor and loves Loki as much as I do, there is a great Loki tribute on Youtube with this song. For anyone who hasn't seen Thor, you really should, because it's one of the best movies ever, almost as good as Phantom of the Opera.**


	5. Author's Note Sorry!

Dear whoever reads this,

I know we're not supposed to use this site for author's notes, so I'm sorry. But I had tons of song fictions done and saved on my flashdrive. And now we're on vacation, we're leaving today, and I can't find my flashdrive. So I'm really sorry, but I'm trying really hard to find it. If I don't find it today, we've got a five hour drive home, I'll write at least one song fiction. I swear I'll have another update really really soon. Again, I'm really really sorry. I'd also like to point out that I've had my flashdrive for three years, I save everything I write on it, and stupidly, I didn't backup anything. Which means I lost a few hundred pages worth of stories. Wish me luck on finding it. Thanks for being so understanding.

- RavenTempestShadowhunter


	6. Breathe No More

**I don't own Percy Jackson or Breathe No More by Evanescence.**

_I've been looking in the mirror for so long.  
That I've come to believe my soul's on the other side._

I look into the mirror. Again. I feel like it's all I do these days. Eat, sleep, go to school, and look into the mirror. Oh, and the cutting. I can't forget the cutting. I hate it. I feel like my soul's in there. I only feel alive when I look at the mirror, at my reflection. When I can see myself. My soul.

_All the little pieces falling, shatter.  
Shards of me,  
Too sharp to put back together.  
Too small to matter,  
But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces._

I whirl around and smash the mirror. Has my soul escaped? Will it come back? The shards of mirror fall around me. I can't touch them, they're to sharp to put back together. And who cares? To small to matter. But it doesn't make a difference. They still cut me. They cut me into tiny pieces, to be blown away by the wind.

_And I bleed,  
I bleed,  
And I breathe,  
I breathe no more.  
_The blood flows down my sleeve, over my hand, onto the floor. I can't stop the bleeding. I bleed, until finally the last drop leaves. And I breathe no more.

_Lie to me,  
Convince me that I've been sick forever.  
And all of this,  
Will make sense when I get better._

I remember a day long ago, it feels like a century. I begged him to tell me a lie. That the world would make sense again when I wasn't sick anymore, and I'd been sick for my entire life. He lied to me.

_But I know the difference,  
Between myself and my reflection.  
I just can't help but to wonder,  
Which of us do you love.  
_But I knew the difference. I knew he was lying. I knew the difference between me and the girl in the mirror. I almost asked him, which one did he love? But I knew. The girl in the mirror, that was me. He didn't love me. He loved this girl, this girl pretending to be me.

_So I bleed,  
I bleed,  
And I breathe,  
I breathe no...  
Bleed,  
I bleed,  
And I breathe,  
I breathe,  
I breathe,  
I breathe no more._

So now I lie here, on the floor, waiting for this blood to leave me. Take this girl who looks like me to a good place, and maybe I'll find out who she is. I bleed, and I breathe no more.

**For anyone who read my author's note, I found that I actually did backup a lot of my flashdrive. Which makes me very happy. So I have a few more song fictions. It's a good thing it****'s summer, I'm going to be working overtime trying to get a new chapter up for _The Sadness Of Mistakes _and writing more song fictions. Okay, now that I've told you many things that you probably didn't care about, bye.**


	7. Memories

**I do not own Percy Jackson or Memories by Within Temptation.**

_In this world you tried  
Not leaving me alone behind  
There's no other way  
I'll pray to the gods: let him stay  
The memories ease the pain inside  
Now I know why  
_He did everything to protect me. He tried as hard as he could not to leave me alone like everyone else had. Remembering makes it easier to bear the pain.

_All of my memories_  
_Keep you near_  
_In silent moments_  
_Imagine you'd be here_  
_All of my memories_  
_Keep you near_  
_The silent whispers, silent tears  
_I lie on my bed, staring at the ceiling. The silence envelops me, but I pretend that it's his arms. I remember what it felt like to have his arms around my waist. A tear runs down my cheek.

_Made me promise I'd try_  
_To find my way back in this life_  
_I hope there is away_  
_To give me a sign you're okay_  
_Reminds me again_  
_It's worth it all_  
_So I can go home  
_I remember the night we lay on a blanket in the forest, looking at the stars. He made me promise that if something happened to him, I wouldn't hurt myself. I laughed and told him that was silly, that nothing would ever happen to him. But I promised anyway. Now, as I look up at the stars, one of them looks a little brighter than the rest. It reminds me of his eyes, the way they would sparkle.

_All of my memories_  
_Keep you near_  
_In silent moments_  
_Imagine you'd be here_  
_All of my memories_  
_Keep you near_  
_The silent whispers, silent tears  
_Tears mix with the rain on my face as I stare into the dark night. I pretend that he's here, holding my hand, telling me it will be alright.

_Together in all these memories_  
_I see your smile_  
_All the memories I hold dear_  
_Darling you know I love you till the end of time_  
_All of my memories_  
_Keep you near_  
_In silent moments_  
_Imagine you'd be here_  
_All of my memories_  
_Keep you near_  
_The silent whispers, silent tears  
_He was on his way home from work. He'd had parent teacher meetings, so he had to stay at the school late. The roads were icy. I remember the phone call, the man on the other end telling me that I had to come to the hospital immediately. But he was already dead when I got there.

I dressed in my short skirt black dress for the funeral, it had always been his favorite. I never wore it again after that. It was too painful.

Nicole was three when her daddy died. Sometimes she asks me about him, and I tell her just to remember him. She tells me that she can remember his laugh, and his arms lifting her up and spinning her. She says she remembers that he would read her stories at night.

And I tell her to hold on to that. Because the memories will keep him close to her.

**I feel like this isn't as good as they usually are, so I'm sorry about that. I'm trying to upload every Wednesday night. I hope I did this awesome song justice.**


	8. Hello

**I don't own Percy Jackson or Hello by Evanescence.**

_Playground school bell rings again  
Rain clouds come to play again  
_The rain is falling. The sky is gray. The wind is biting my cheeks. The swing is making a creaky sound when it moves. Somewhere, there are children laughing. But I don't care. I don't feel the wind, I don't see the rain, I don't hear the swing or the children.

Because Thalia's gone. And nothing else matters.

_Has no one told you she's not breathing?  
Hello, I am your mind giving you someone to talk to  
_I start to laugh. Thalia can't be gone. It's not possible. She's sitting here next to me on the swing. People look at me strangely, but I don't care, because Thalia's smiling and that proves that she's not gone.

_If I smile and don't believe_  
_Soon I know I'll wake from this dream  
_I know that soon everyone will start laughing, too, and tell me that it's just a joke. And I'll tell them that it wasn't a very good joke, because Thalia was sitting next to me the whole time.

But Percy kneels in front of me and tells me that it's not a joke, she really is gone. I'm telling him that he's wrong, that she's sitting next to me. But he's not listening.

And when I'm taken to a building full of people with white coats and big smiles, I tell them that she's there, too. And they don't listen.

_Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken  
Hello I am the lie living for you so you can hide  
Don't cry  
_I scream at them. I scream that I'm not broken, they don't need to fix me. I tell them that I don't need to be here. I tell them that I'm not crazy. And they still don't listen to me.

But every night Thalia is sitting next to me on the bed with white sheets and white pillows and white blankets. She tells me that I don't have to talk to them. I don't need to convince them that she's gone, because I know she's still here and that's what matters.

_Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping  
Hello, I'm still here  
All that's left of yesterday  
_On the day of her funeral, I look at the white casket and see the black roses that I'm carrying, and I know that she really is gone. And maybe I am crazy, and maybe I do need their help.

But that night Thalia comes again, and she brings Bianca with her. And I stop caring whether they're real or not. They're here with me now. And I have to hold onto them. Because they're all I have. All that's left of yesterday.

**Very short songfic for a very short song. In case anyone didn't get it, he was taken to a mental institution. I'm very happy that I managed to meet my own deadline. I hope that I can meet the same deadline next week. Hey, high school orientation in one week! They've scheduled an hour to learn how to open our lockers. Our school serves everyone, apparently. Even the idiots.**


	9. Say My Name

**I don't own Percy Jackson or Say My Name by Within Temptation.**

_Say my name  
So I will know you're back  
You're here again for a while  
Oh, let us share  
The memories that only we can share  
Together_

"Thalia," I say. Tears are streaming down my cheeks. "Thalia, look at me." But she won't. I ask her to say my name, but she acts like she doesn't hear me. Maybe she doesn't. She just sits there in the corner of the room, her knees against her chest, her head against the wall, her eyes far away and unresponsive. I am kneeling in front of her, begging her to say my name, to let me know she's back. Even for just a little while. I want to share the memories that only we have together, I want her to know who I am, and maybe I can save her. I want her to laugh with me just one more time.

Tell me about  
The days before I was born,  
How we were as children

Sometimes I feel hysterical, asking her the same things over and over again. Asking her to tell me about things I don't even know if she remembers. The doctors watch from the doorway, to see if she will respond. But she doesn't. She doesn't even move.

You touch my hand  
These colors come alive  
In your heart and in your mind  
I cross the borders of time  
Leaving today behind to be with you again

I take her hand and move my thumb over it. The tears are falling on the white dress they make her wear, but she doesn't notice. She doesn't care.

I feel her move her fingers in my hand, and my heart begins to pound. Somehow, the world is brighter with that tiny movement. "Thalia." But she doesn't move again. For a second I thought I saw that spark of life in her eyes. But now it's gone._  
_

_We breathe the air  
Do you remember how you used to touch my hair?  
You're not aware  
Your hands keep still  
You just don't know that I am here  
_For a moment, I hear nothing but her breathing, in sync with mine. I think about how we used to lie on the couch, we would be watching a movie. She loved Disney. She would lay her head in my lap and I would play with her hair. But she doesn't remember, she doesn't know I'm here. I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes, and I try to hold them back. But they spill out onto the white tile floor.

_It hurts too much  
I pray now that soon you'll release  
To where you belong_

It hurts every time I look at her, the way she seems so lifeless. Sometimes I wish I could just let her go, let her stay in the world she's created. That's where she belongs. But I can't give up.

You touch my hand  
These colors come alive  
In your heart and in your mind  
I cross the borders of time  
Leaving today behind to be with you again

I move my free hand to her cheek, and for a moment I think I see that spark again, that spark in her eyes. I think it's just my hoping.

But it's not. She squeezes my hand, and turns her head to look at me.

"Oh my God, Thalia," I say. I wrap my arms around her in a hug. She doesn't move.

Please, say my name  
Remember who I am  
You will find me in the world of yesterday  
You drift away again  
To far from where I am  
When you ask me who I am

I pull back and look at her. There's something wrong, I can tell. I ask her.

When she speaks, her voice is quiet and small. A shell of what it used to be. "Who are you?"

Say my name  
These colors come alive  
In your heart and in your mind  
I cross the borders of time  
Leaving today behind to be with you again

Fresh tears fall onto the white floor. "I'm your best friend," I say. "I've known you forever."

Her eyes light in understanding. "Nico," she whispers. But her eyes go dim again. She's drifting away from me again. I want to follow her, into the world she's living in. But she's gone. I say her name, repeat it over and over again, but she's gone. I can't get her back again.

_Say my name_

**Okay, this was seriously not as good as my others. I completely spaced on my stories until today, when I realized it was my upload day. So I threw this together really quickly before I went to the library, which is the only place I can upload. I swear my next one will be better. For those of you who are interested, our high school orientation was today. My friend Jake nearly passed out when he walked into the computer room where he's taking robotics and intro to computer graphics because they have a 3D printer. He explained to me how it worked, but it didn't quite make sense to me. And they cut my German class. Damn them. Anyway, you probably don't care and I will stop rambling now. Again, I swear my next upload will be better.**


	10. Amaranth

**I don't own Percy Jackson or Amaranth by Nightwish.**

_Baptized with a perfect name  
The doubting one by heart  
Alone without himself  
War between him and the day  
Need someone to blame  
In the end, little he can do alone  
__You believe but what you see?  
__You receive but what you give?_

Thalia Grace was perfect. She got perfect grades, she had a perfect life, perfect parents. She didn't talk much, but that didn't matter. She even had a perfect name.

If you asked someone at Goode High about Thalia Grace, this is what they would tell you. No one knew much about Thalia, just that she was perfect.

They didn't know that she was always alone. They didn't know about her father, who had walked out on her. They didn't know about her mother, who drank herself into a stupor every night. They didn't know about the cuts and bruises her mother gave her when she got angry.

_Caress the one, the never-fading_  
_rain in your heart - the tears of snow-white sorrow_  
_Caress the one, the hiding amaranth_  
_In a land of the daybreak_

They didn't know how much she wanted someone to know. They didn't know that she wanted someone to stroke her cheek, to hold her, to tell her everything would be alright. Even if they were lying.

_Apart from the wandering pack_  
_In this brief flight of time_  
_We reach for the ones, whoever dare  
__You believe but what you see?  
__You receive but what you give?  
__Caress the one, the never-fading  
__rain in your heart - the tears of snow-white sorrow  
__Caress the one, the hiding amaranth  
__In a land of the daybreak_

She would walk through the halls between classes with her head held high, letting her hair hide to the new bruise on her cheek. And as she walked to and from classes, she wished. Over and over again, she wished for a perfect person, a person who wouldn't leave her.

_Reaching, searching for something untouched_  
_Hearing voices of the never-fading calling_

But then she would laugh at herself. She knew that it wasn't possible. She knew from experience that nobody was perfect, and most people couldn't even pretend. Not unless they were like her. Good at pretending.

Everyone left. Nobody cared enough to stay around, and you had to leave them before they left you. Which was why she had no friends, because she didn't want to hurt people by leaving, and she didn't want to get hurt.

_Caress the one, the never-fading_  
_rain in your heart - the tears of snow-white sorrow_  
_Caress the one, the hiding amaranth_  
_In a land of the daybreak_

But she still hoped, she still dreamed of someone who would hold her hand. Someone who knew the truth. Someone who she didn't have to lie to.

And that's what the note said, the one Nico di Angelo found when he walked into the janitor's closet to smoke and found her on the floor. There was blood seeping from her wrists (because it was so much easier to get a razor into school than a gun or a bottle of pills) and her eyes were filled with tears.

He never told anyone about the note. When they came and took her away, he put the note in his pocket and stayed silent. But he thought about her every day. The girl who everyone thought was perfect. And he never forgot the lesson she had taught to him, even though they had never spoken.

Nobody's perfect.

**I'm actually very happy with this one. This is a high school AU, in case you hadn't noticed. I know there isn't really any Thalico, so I'm sorry about that. I've gotten a few reviews wondering why my songfics are so sad, or why people have a tendency to die. If anyone else wants to ask one of these questions or one like these, it's because I am the writer, and I don't write happy stories. If you don't like sad stories, then don't read my stories, I'm not forcing you to. For anyone who cares, I started high school yesterday. I had my first English class today, and it was awesome. Tomorrow I have my second World Cultures class, and I'm really looking forward to it. I'm going to go now so I can hopefully post the next chapter of _The Sadness Of __Mistakes_ before tomorrow. Thanks for reading and reviewing!**


	11. Going Under

**Stygian. Wolf: Thank you! Sorry I didn't upload sooner. I hope you like this chapter, though!**

**SummerSpirit18: Thanks. I've never actually been through any of the things that Thalia's been through in _Amaranth_, so saying that it's full of truth means that I'm doing a good job getting into my character's head.**

**PJO is the best: This is going to sound very mean, but I'm glad I made you cry. That means I'm doing a good job! I promise I won't stop writing, sorry I haven't uploaded. By the way I love your pen name.**

**Eva3131: My stories are sad because that's how I write. I know some people don't like sad stuff, but I think if you've read nine of my song fictions you probably don't care all that much. Sorry if that sounds harsh. I hope the sadness of my writing doesn't turn you off of my stories. Thanks for reviewing.**

**Le tueur silencieux: I'm glad you like depressing stuff. This chapter is dedicated to you.**

**I don't own The Avengers.**_  
_

_Now I will tell you what I've done for you -  
50 thousand tears I've cried.  
Screaming, deceiving and bleeding for you -  
And you still won't hear me.  
_That son of a bitch. I tried, all right? I tried. I tried to help him. I've done so much for him. I've cried for his pain, I've screamed, I've taken the blame for him, I've bled for him. And he doesn't care. He still won't notice that I'm there.

_Don't want your hand this time - I'll save myself.  
Maybe I'll wake up for once (wake up for once)  
Not tormented daily defeated by you  
Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom  
_I don't need him anymore. I don't need any of them. I don't need Nico to pick me up off the floor, I don't need Luke to protect me (not that he ever really did). I can save myself this time. I won't let them hurt me anymore. I thought I'd reached the bottom. But now I know I can go further.

_I'm dying again  
I'm going under (going under)  
Drowning in you (drowning in you)  
I'm falling forever (falling forever)  
I've got to break through  
I'm going under  
_Maybe I should have expected this. Luke found me when I ran away from my mother, and I thought I would be safe with him. Then he started hitting me, and Nico found me, and I thought I would be safe again. And now he's leaving me. I'm going under, I'm drowning in my broken spirit. I won't let myself be crushed this time. I've been suffocating under the people who have hurt me, and now I have to break through the surface and soar with newly formed wings. But I'm still going under.

_Blurring and stirring - the truth and the lies._  
_So I don't know what's real and what's not_  
_Always confusing the thoughts in my head_  
_So I can't trust myself anymore  
_The reality is mixing itself up in my head. I don't know what's real anymore. I'm always getting confused now. Do I hate Nico? Or do I need him?

_I'm dying again_  
_I'm going under (going under)_  
_Drowning in you (drowning in you)_  
_I'm falling forever (falling forever)_  
_I've got to break through  
_No. I know now. I don't need him anymore. I'm drowning, I'm falling, and I won't wait for Nico to catch me this time. I'll save myself. I'm leaving. For good this time.

_So go on and scream  
Scream at me I'm so far away (so far away)  
_I don't care. He can scream at me, he can call me foul names, he can hit me. But I'm leaving. I'm too far away for him to hurt me now. I don't care anymore.

_I won't be broken again (again)  
I've got to breathe - I can't keep going under  
_I'm not going to be broken this time. I was broken when Jason died, I was broken when my mother turned to drugs and alcohol, I won't break again. I can breathe on my own, I don't need someone to support me anymore. I can't keep going under.

_I'm dying again_  
_I'm going under_  
_Drowning in you_  
_I'm falling forever_  
_I've got to break through_  
_I'm going under_  
_I'm going under_  
_I'm going under  
_I'm leaving now. I don't know where I'll go. But I can't stay here anymore. I'm drowning in Luke, I keep falling, waiting for someone to catch me. But no one's going to this time. I'm breaking through, and I'm leaving. I am Thalia Grace. I am my own person.

**This was a request from Le tueur silencieux. I feel like this isn't as good as my other ones, actually I think this might have been one of my worst. But I hope you like it, and I'm really trying to upload more often. But school is taking up a huge part of my life, and I swim and I'm part of the Latin Club (we've only got two members) as well. So I'm really sorry for not uploading for so long.**

**I started Health class this semester - thank God we only have to take the class once to graduate - and we read an article on nutrition last class. And I'm almost positive we used the exact same article in sixth grade. Has anyone else noticed that they teach us the exact same stuff every year? I mean I know they're trying to promote healthy eating and living, but I think if they teach us the same stuff for four years and we haven't learned it, then we probably aren't going to learn it.**

**Anyway, sorry again for not uploading in so long, and if anyone has any requests I'd love to hear from you.**

**Review!**


	12. Raise What's Left of the Flag for Me

**I don't own Percy Jackson and the Olympians or Raise What's Left of the Flag for Me by Naomi King.**

_I met you, three years today  
I saw you, and knew your name  
In my eyes, you saw my pain  
In your eyes, I saw the same_

He remembered the first day he'd met her. Really met her, when he was thirteen and they had just won against Kronuo. They'd known each other for three years, of course, but she'd never really talked to him.

But she was standing alone on Half-Blood Hill, watching the bonfire. He'd stood next to her, just stood there, listening to the campers crying and Chiron giving a speech on the lives lost and the victory won. Even if it didn't feel like a real victory. He still didn't belong at the camp, and she was starting to realize that she didn't belong with the Hunters.

He'd put a hand on her shoulder, and she'd looked at him. He knew she could see the pain reflected in his eyes by the faint light of the moon, and he knew she felt the same pain.

_You have fought with me for all these years_  
_You have shared my pain and shared my tears, oh_  
_Don't give up, love, till this war is won_  
_And when all is said and done_

She had to leave the next morning with the hunters. But two years later she came back and told him she'd quit the hunters.

They'd been inseparable after that, fighting together, laughing together, and, when Chiron allowed it, sitting together at meals.

He told her about Bianca and she told him about her years on the run with Luke and Annabeth. They'd cried together when Travis and Connor died and laughed together when Annabeth pushed Percy out of the canoe into the lake.

But now she was bleeding in his arms, and no matter how hard he tried to convince himself otherwise, she wasn't going to pull through this time. She wasn't going to walk away from this battle.

"Don't give up, Nico," she whispered. "Don't quit."

_Raise what's left of the flag for me_  
_When you lead our world to victory_  
_Raise your fist in the air for all to see_  
_And when all is said and done_  
_Raise the flag for me_

"Thalia," he started, but she interrupted him.

"You can't leave them." Her breathing was ragged. "They'll need you."

The battle raged around them, Percy yelled for his help, but Nico couldn't pull himself away from the only girl he'd loved.

_Raise your sword into the sky_  
_You'll shed blood, but never die_  
_You'll be strong for all of time_  
_You'll live on in all our eyes_

She lay her hand on his sword. "Come visit me. After the battle."

He shook his head. "You're going to be fine." But his voice broke.

She coughed. "You're strong, Nico. You have to go."

"A medic's coming."

"There's no time, Nico. You have to go fight." Her eyes were pleading.

A tear rolled down his cheek. "You won't die."

She tried to smile, but it came out more like a grimace. "Not if you remember me."

_You have suffered every breath you take_  
_Keep the fight no matter what they say  
__I know you'll be alone when I am gone  
__But when all is said and done_

She could see the pain in his eyes. He'd been barely living, just fighting, day after day. He'd been suffering for six years, since Bianca had died.

"Don't give up," she whispered.

A small sob escaped his lips. "What am I going to do?"

"Just keep fighting, Nico."

_Raise what's left of the flag for me_  
_When you lead our world to victory_  
_Raise your fist in the air for all to see_  
_And when all is said and done_  
_Raise the flag for me_

The battle raged on. Somewhere close by the minotaur bellowed. Nico could hear Percy yelling for help. He could hear Annabeth fighting the hydra. He could hear Katie scream in pain. Somewhere he could hear someone laughing. Maybe it was him.

_Raise what's left of the flag for me  
When you lead our world to victory  
Raise your fist in the air for all to see  
And when all is said and done_

Thalia's breathing grew fainter until it was coming in gasps. The sword in her stomach gleamed dully.

Their flag lay a few feet away. The piece of cloth had been torn and dirtied. There was a stain on it that looked like blood.

_Raise what's left of the flag for me  
When you lead our world to victory  
Raise your fist in the air for all to see  
And when all is said and done  
Raise the flag for me_

Nico looked back at Thalia. She had a slight smile on her face and her eyes were shining. Her lips were red with her own blood. She pulled his head down closer to her lips. A few lonely tears fell from his eyes and splashed on her cheek as she whispered a few words into his ear.

"Raise what's left of the flag for me."

**I don't think I did this song justice. I found it a few days ago when I was surfing YouTube and happened to come across an amazing singer name Naomi King (who also has awesomely colored hair). I decided I had to do a song fic for it, it's just that amazing. You should all go listen to it. Right now.**

**In fact, here's the link:**

** watch?v=VnZ6VNAVDtU**


	13. Come Home

**I didn't respond to the reviews from Going Under, so I'm doing those first.**

**I am Mer daughter of Nemesis: Thank you, I try. Is your name really Mer?**

**SomewhatCrazyOwl: Out of all the reviews that I got for this song, yours was my favorite. Although there were only three, so you can take that however you want. Anyway, thank you so much, there is no shame in loving the way things are told. It doesn't matter how good the story is, if it isn't told well, no one will want to read it. I love Hello too, I think it might be my favorite. I wrote one for The Scientist (and fell in love with the song in the process) and it seems perfect, actually. Thank you for requesting it.**

**Lucy: I wanted to PM you, but you're a guest, so I couldn't. Thank you for requesting a song, but I looked up the lyrics and listened to the song, and I can't write it. I think if you listen to the lyrics, you'll see why. See, every song has characters, just like a story, because songs are stories. The characters in The Last Tear are too different from Thalia and Nico, I can't write it. I'm sorry.**

**In response to the review for Raise What's Left of the Flag for Me:**

**Lucy: Thank you, I really liked this one. It is a great song, one of her best, I think.**

**I don't own Percy Jackson or Come Home by One Republic.**

_Hello world, hope you're listening  
__Forgive me if I'm young  
__For speaking out of turn  
__There's someone I've been missing  
__I think that they could be  
__The better half of me  
__They're in the wrong place trying to make it right  
__But I'm tired of justifying  
__So I say to you..  
_They were both just out of college. They'd been together for two years. He didn't know what he'd said to make her leave. But the apartment was empty without her there, without her clothes strewn across their bedroom, without her dancing in the kitchen while he tried to make breakfast in the morning, without her laughing at the stupid people on TV.

She was his better half, the one who'd pulled him out of the darkness and helped him to start over. He didn't know where she'd gone, just that he needed her back.

_Come home, come home  
__Cause I've been waiting for you  
__For so long, for so long  
__Right now there's a war between the vanities  
__But all I see is you and me  
__The fight for you is all I've ever known  
__So come home  
_He'd left so many messages for her. He would stare at their pictures, wondering where they went wrong. Percy dragged him out for a few hours and he didn't know what to do. All he knew how to do anymore was fight for her.

_I get lost in the beauty of everything I see  
__The world ain't half as bad as they paint it to be  
__If all the sons, all the daughters  
__Stopped to take it in  
__Well hopefully the hate subsides and the love can begin  
__It might start now  
__Well maybe I'm just dreaming out loud  
__Until then...  
_She'd loved to lie on her back on the balcony looking up at the sky. Her world was always moving so fast, fighting monsters and defending the gods, and she liked to take a few moments to not do anything at all.

She wasn't there anymore, and it tore a hole in his heart.

He would have dreams that she was hurt, and wake up in a cold sweat, panting, reaching for her, only to be reminded that she was gone.

_Come home, come home  
__Cause I've been waiting for you  
__For so long, for so long  
__Right now there's a war between the vanities  
__But all I see is you and me  
__The fight for you is all I've ever known  
__So come home  
_He would sleep with one of her shirts (actually his that she'd shirtnapped). Sometimes he called her phone just to hear her voice on the voicemail. It was never off, so he told himself that she couldn't be dead. It would have run out of battery by now.

_Everything I can't be  
__Is everything you should be  
__And that's why I need you here  
__Everything I can't be  
__Is everything you should be  
__And that's why I need you here  
__So hear this now...  
_When his phone rang in the middle night, he had been dreaming about her again. When he answered, he thought he was still dreaming.

She was crying softly, telling him she was sorry, telling him that she never should have left.

He waited for her to finish. When she had, he told her that he needed her, because she was everything he couldn't be.

She started crying again.

_Come home, come home  
__Cause I've been waiting for you  
__For so long, for so long  
__Right now there's a war between the vanities  
__But all I see is you and me  
__The fight for you is all I've ever known  
__So come home  
_When she begged him to forgive her, he told her only if she would come home.

When she appeared on his doorstep an hour later with a black eye and a cut on her cheek, he brought her to the bathroom, made her sit on the sink, and took care of her like they had always done for each other.

He never asked her what had happened, why she had left, because he knew that she would tell him when she was ready.

When they curled up in bed together that night, he whispered in her ear that she was all he needed. She promised to never leave again.

But all he needed was to know that she'd come home.

**Alright, well that was sappy. This was a request from Keep calm and love on, and it was actually requested a while ago, I just never uploaded it. I hope you liked it, though. I have another one that I'll upload whenever I next have the time.**

**For followers of The Sadness Of Mistakes: I have not forgotten about you, but I started another story and the story won't let me go until I finish it. It's not a fanfiction, so you won't get to read it, unless I put it on FictionPress. Sorry. But I will upload, I have the chapter half done already, and I'm almost finished with the story. Thanks for understanding.**

**If Lucy is reading this note but didn't read my response to her review above, please go and read it. It's important, and I can't PM you.**

**Review!**


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